Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
