The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
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The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
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Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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