You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
