you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
