did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
