dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
