ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
