I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
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I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
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His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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