I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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