I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize