I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Alive.
So much puke
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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