life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME