I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
