Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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