My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
