Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize