I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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