apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
