The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
