I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize