he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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