He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
