May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
