I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
