we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
