Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
