this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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