I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
