I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
