what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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