i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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