I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
