Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
