I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Shame - the story of my life.
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