my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
