I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
