Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
