drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
