yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she smelled like a LAN party
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
