that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
