He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
