..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
