I'm gonna have a badass scar
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
