I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
