i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i drank out of a bidet.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
