he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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