he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
