I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Randomize
