drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
