Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
There's always time for handjobs
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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