I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
