i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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