Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
