I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
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