Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
