she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
