I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
