Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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